and then some

So I've made my move to CP, and it's akin to a 360 degree turn. Okla, maybe 270 degrees. I'm given so much freedom here. Freedom that is sometimes unwanted.

I do not have a direct superior to report to in the office. I am the Only editorial staff, thus I do not have anyone to discuss / brainstorm / edit with. Here i am trusted to do my own work, and as long as i complete it, anything goes. I am treated excellently as a staff, and the people here are tough people. I can be sarcastic and straightforward with the big guy, and he'll do the same to me.

The HUGE difference? At H, my official hours are 9-5. I can stay till 7 or 8, and I wouldn't feel it. Over at CP, my official hours are 9-6. I wish I could leave after lunch.

Right now, I'm not learning. Hence there is no motivation. Yet, I need what they offer.

--=--

With everything that's been going on at home, at work and socially, I've been failing to acknowledge how badly my health is deteriorating. My health chart looks like the stock market crashing downwards. It really hurts. I try not to make it a big deal, it usually goes away after a couple days, but it's been a week now. The fevers at night don't help much.

--=--

Old feelings are resurfacing, yet things are so different this time around. These are things that can't be changed. The same thought keeps running through my mind. Actually it doesn't run. It takes a leisurely stroll. Why not just have a picnic there, why don't you?