Revelations....

I have been trying to blog since Sunday night.

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Yes, he was judged.

Maybe I wanted him to be judged.

But the judges only proved one thing in the end.

It proved that what I sensed from the start was true.

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However, everytime I was in the midst of writing about how I felt, someone said something that made what I wrote not relevant to how I felt anymore.

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Why then, do I feel the way I do?

I have always known myself to be That kind of girl.

But when reality hits, I know that I can't be that girl anymore.

I know what I want, I know what I need. And I do not want to settle for anything else.

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On Sunday night, I met up with someone who suddenly made the whole situation seem so clear to me.

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Do you think I am blind?

Or just plain dumb?

Your words mean nothing to me when I've seen it all for myself.

You know, I really detest people like you.

You claim to be such a person, when your actions clearly states another.

And then you even dare to deny it at the end of the day.

For now, I can only slowly push you away.

Because despite everything, I still do not want to hurt you.

I do not know why.

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Tonight I met up with that same person. He asked questions that I couldn't answer. He gave possible options that I found hard to accept. He made me realize many things. In the end, I think I figured the way out of my own maze.

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Don't you understand?

It was you all along.

I feel the same for you.

Now, if only I could admit that to myself.

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Commitment is a hard thing to do. It is hard because when I commit, I really commit. I just don't trust the other person to.

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My message has been sent.

You have checked me a couple of times.

But I'm not gonna let you checkmate me.

The other players are waiting to have a game with me.

Are you ready....?

It's your move.